What Kristen Stewart May Think About Barbie Becoming Bella
WARNING: This post contains language that you may find offensive. Please use your own discretion.
Photo Courtesy of Mattel
Uploaded from RadarOnline.com
This is a FICTITIOUS conversation between Kristen Stewart and her agent Ken Kaplan. No offense is meant to the character of Barbie and its creator Mattel.
SEQ 01. INT. Living Room. Night. Kristen Stewart is on the phone with her agent Ken Kaplan.
KRISTEN STEWART
Barbie? Ken, did I just hear you f—ing say Barbie will become Bella? Are they f—ing insane? Barbie is, like, the f—ing antithesis of everything that Bella stands for!Bella is supposed to be this totally ordinary girl who just happens to, like, f—ing fall in love with a vampire. And, now, they’re gonna f— it all up and make her drop dead gorgeous and make her look like f—ing Barbie.
I f—ing suppose they’re gonna give her, like, a bigger chest too, a f—ing miniscule waist and f—ing long legs that, like, go on forever. Bella is NOT gonna look like Bella at all!
Am I the only one who can see how tragically f—ing insane and wrong this is? Am I f—ing alone in a Twilight world gone mad? Can’t somebody stop this insanity from happening, Ken?
F***! Of course, it’s f—ing scheduled already! The Barbie dolls are going to be out by f—ing October 2009 in time for the Christmas season! Well, that just makes it f—ing perfect! I just f—ing wasted my f—ing breath, Ken.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I don’t wanna be, like, the target of every Twilight mom, tween and teen, and every f—ing female on this planet. I’m gonna, like, shut the f— up. I’ll f—ing dodge the question and say I don’t know what to think because I haven’t, like, seen it yet.
Yeah, yeah, Ken. I don’t wanna f—ing apologize the whole time either. I’m gonna f—ing watch my potty mouth.
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
MTV reports the entry of toy giant Mattel into the Twilight franchise.
What girl doesn’t dream of snuggling up to her very own granite-bodied Edward Cullen every now and then? (Me: Guilty as charged!) Well, if you’re willing to trade stone for plastic, you’re in luck. Mattel has created its own Edward Ken doll complete with “shimmering complexion” and “trademark gold eyes.” And if it’s your thing, you can order a Bella Barbie, too. (The Toys “R” Us site, however, recommends this doll for people aged 6-7 years, but we’re guessing they don’t quite understand how vast the “Twilight” universe actually is!)
The Barbie and Ken versions of the Twilight star crossed lovers will be available at Toys R Us by October 2009.
(And, sorry, fictional Kristen, I’m really scared of the other Bella Swan doll, and the other beautiful handcrafted version is just too expensive at $134.99, so I’ll probably end up buying the Barbie doll.)
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June 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
God, those dolls are scary and st—id. I totally agree with “fictional Kristen” – that doll doesn’t represent Bella at all.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Well I’ll settle for the man who plays Edward Cullen! If I get these dolls, they will be destroyed within minutes by my toddler!
June 29th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
i agree, where in the h*** they come out with that?maybe next time they will make edward with fang too?or biting an animal because he is vegetarian vampire right?well, twilight earn big money to the movie, hopefully the barbie of bella and edward will be hit like twilight?what’s next?dr. cullen, alice,etc…
June 29th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
ok, so i know this is completely off-topic, but i was wondering “WHERE IN THE WORLD IS NIKKI REED?!”… hehe it’s just that we all know that the twilight stars are all visible these past few weeks except, for nikki that is. hell! even mama esme was seen partying with rpattz and eva mendez in new york!
June 29th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
I’ll buy my f…ing Bella Swan Barbie doll and f…ing Edward Cullen Ken as soon as it hits the Toys R Us branch here in Manila because I f…ing love Edwella!
June 29th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
‘Am I the only one who can see how tragically f—ing insane and wrong this is?’
No, i think so too fictional Kristen. You’re not alone there lol x
June 30th, 2009 at 12:36 am
kristen is absolutely right! bella is ordinary and making her a barbie doll makes her antibella kristen is 110% right and she shouldnt have to watch her potty mouth because shes 19
June 30th, 2009 at 2:54 am
oh great! why in the h— do they have to make these dolls anyways?? i mean its not like any 4 year old actually reads any of the twilight sagas (if they do, im pretty impressed :]) books! why would they need a doll to play with if they didnt know who she was?
i really do not like this idea at all. ugh! i am like the biggest fan of twilight EVER but i dont like how it is getting so out of control
its not good for some of us twilighters right? well… i hope they dont make a too big of a deal of all this stuff.
but you guys, dont get me wrong, like i said i LOVE twilight. so im not some sort of a hater ok?
June 30th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I h—e it because of the same reasons [fictional] kristen has! it’s awful…that’s not bella -_- they destroy her haha.
And look at that forehead :O omg
June 30th, 2009 at 10:19 am
the dolls are creepy, glossy and too perfect. don’t like it
June 30th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I f*** agree … its totally the anti bella ??? And i agree with julia also , 6 year old girls dont really … ugh! Its just crazy …
June 30th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i’m sorry but i just… Omg i just can laugh stupidly at this.. Bella is just an ordinary girl. I think that’s bella cullen, not bella swan (bella cullen is more beautiful than bella swan. Described like that on the book)
what if robsten came to the launching of edward and bella barbie doll version? I think… Hahahahahahaha i think it’s a little funny, y’ know? Hahahaha
i’m gonna tell my friend. I bet she’ll be laugh at this :’D
June 30th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Oh my God! I thought that was a joke ..Why on earth would they do this ?..God this is getting ridiculous ..Now Twilight h—ers would have even more reasons..
But I would totally Buy it .. I was at toys R us yesterday .. I was looking for the Edward Action figure .. I couldn’t find it .. I saw X-men toys .. and I was Really P—sed .. I don’t know why they don’t release the things I want in my country ..
July 21st, 2009 at 6:14 am
OOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! im so happy1
not because of the bella and edward barbie dolls. Thats just f-ing idiotic. but I am an insane rpattz fan and I’M RELATED TO EVA MENDEZ!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN SO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!!!!!! 
<3