A Twilight Kiss

Photo Courtesy of GQ Magazine
Photo: Nathaniel Goldberg

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson for Kristen Stewart

A million eyes were stabbing me, leaving invisible pinpricks that, although did not ooze blood, left gaping wounds that bared my soul for speculating tongues and gouging fingers.

She knew just how to torture me.

I wanted to crawl into a dark corner to escape the piercing stares and ravenous inquiring minds. I wanted to dive into an aquatic abyss that will let me settle in its depths like a baby swirling in its womb, the blackness surrounding me in its comforting silence of solitude.

This woman had an Edward Cullen ability to read my mind.

The thought made me giggle hysterically, knowing that my fear of non-existent threatening shades will loom in my terrified mind until I tear myself from its fetters to seek the warmth and the light.

No, an Aro like quality to delve into my innermost thoughts.

The familiar called to me. I eagerly slid into the musky depths of Patty’s bed, sidling my longer frame beside her heaving warmth, inhaling her recognizable scent, hoping that it would somehow bring me to a calmer state.

A Twilight Kiss will use that knowledge with an unerring accuracy akin to Jane’s unmerciful method.

I balled myself into a fetal position and wrapped an arm around my dog Patty, while I threw my other forearm across my eyes in a futile attempt to shield the memories of the words that were causing my breath to be trapped in a howling scream that demanded to be released.

A Twilight Kiss will twist my exposed nerves to a level of pain and anguish that I’m not sure I can contain.

I felt I was standing in the middle of a bare stage with a spotlight blasting the threads of my clothes into floating motes that could not shield my shriveling spirit.

I was shivering, stark naked and vulnerable.

Photo Courtesy of GQ Magazine
Photo: Nathaniel Goldberg

Yet, the very same words from A Twilight Kiss that caused me such torture will be replaced by ones that will somewhat alleviate the anguish and the sorrow with the images that the new words will create.

A vision so clear coalesced in my mind’s eye that I felt a stab of recognition for a deeply embedded yearning. My breath was stolen from me at the gut-wrenching truth of it — an image of Kristen and I in our bed together, propped by the headboard and a mountain of white pillows, my limbs spread to accommodate her dainty form in between while she rested her back against my chest.

One pair of hands, hers and mine, interlaced, which allowed the fingers of my other hand to caress her lightly, watching it trace her delicate skin as we both basked in the serenity of the morning sunlight streaming through the windows.

Photo Courtesy of GQ Magazine
Photo: Nathaniel Goldberg
T-shirt by A|X Armani Exchange. Jeans by Denim & Thread. Necklace by Rogues Gallery

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Robert Pattinson Reads Fan Fiction The details of this post are based on the GQ feature on Robert Pattinson with staff writer Alex Pappademas. One of the things that Alex discovered about Rob was that he goes on the Internet to read about himself.

“[Robert Pattinson] tries not to go out if he can avoid it. Stays home, watches movies, microwaves. Mostly, though, he reads about himself on the Internet. All bullshit, Pattinson says, but he reads the stories anyway, out of a kind of masochistic narcissism.

And he admits to reading it, which is the really weird part. He reads the gossip blogs and the Twilight fan fiction (“It’s surprisingly hard-core. And very well written”).”

The Sex Scene I alluded to the sex scene in Little Ashes, which Rob also mentioned in the GQ interview, “And here I am, with Javier [Beltrán], who plays Lorca, doing an extremely hard-core sex scene, where I have a nervous breakdown afterward. And because we’re both straight, what we were doing seemed kind of ridiculous.

(Now he’s sort of laughing.)

“Trying to do it doggie-style. Trying to have a nervous breakdown while doing it doggie-style. And it wasn’t even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves.”

Rob’s Dog Patty I also included Patty (under the assumption that Rob is referring to her) to whom Rob has turned to for comfort in the past, “I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate—I actually didn’t feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog’s bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog.”

The Panic Attacks GQ staff writer Alex Pappademas was able to unearth more examples of Rob’s panic attacks, “Pattinson says he’s always been hypersensitive about being looked at, that when he was a kid and somebody’d make eye contact with him on the bus or something, he’d freak out. He’s one of those tall people who hunch, trying to disappear. Then all this stuff happened. He wasn’t ready. His first thought, whenever he finds himself in one of these crowds, is always, Someone could very easily stab me.”

How Did ATwilightKiss Get Into This Reading the GQ article and Rob’s narcissistic penchant for surfing the net, I figured, in the infinite world of possibilities, Robert Pattinson could have stumbled upon ATwilightKiss, where he would have most likely read the top post (as of 16 March 2009) — The Robert Pattinson Diaries — In Love and Lust with Kristen Stewart

So, the words in italics are from that particular diary entry, and, the ones in bold are his supposed reactions to the memory of it.

A Message for Robert Pattinson Mr. Pattinson, if you are reading this, please accept my apologies for being so presumptuous; and, yet, may I be cheeky enough to boldly suggest that, in most likelihood, I am correct in a majority of The Robert Pattinson Diaries posts?

Thank you very much for your kind attention!

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