The Kristen Stewart Diaries — A Distant Robert Pattinson
A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan for Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen
Photo Courtesy of Just Jared Jr.
Credit: Venturini; Photo: BauerGriffinOnline
Foolish stupid girl, I berated myself. I looked down at my bare shoulder blue mini-dress and mocked my decision to wear it.
Wearing dresses is an anomaly for me. I’m more of the jeans shirt type of girl. But, I wanted to wear a dress today, because, and I ridiculed my own motivations, I wanted to look pretty and feminine for Rob. There, I’ve admitted it.
I vowed to stuff the remaining dresses that I had brought to the very bottom of my suitcase. I derided the dreams I had of wearing them while in romantic Italy.
The monsters yipped in protest.
I wouldn’t be so contemptuous of myself if there had been a recognition or a visible effect of my vain yet ineffective efforts on Rob. Instead of an appreciative or admiring look or compliment, I got a friendly hello with barely a flicker of the tenderness and warmth that had been present between us when we were in Vancouver.
And, now, there was a length of distance between Rob and I as we walked around the Montepulciano sights, a physical manifestation of the detached nature of our meeting after almost a week-long separation when Rob went to the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, while I stayed behind in Vancouver to continue shooting for New Moon.
I’m not sure exactly what I was hoping for, but, it was definitely not this.
My self-inflicted mental flagellation was cut short as a group of Twilight Italian moms requested for a photo, I was relieved of the dark tint of my shades that hid my suddenly blurry eyes that were welling up with tears.
I knew that Ash had noticed the distance, but, kept quiet about it. I was grateful that she didn’t say anything, but at the same time, I could feel her concerned gaze turning towards me from time to time.
The monsters added their sympathy with their low growls.
The next day, as we met with the production team and went over the four day shooting schedule, I allowed myself to enjoy the Italian sun by wearing cut off jean shorts and sleeveless layered tops, and with my hair up in a ponytail, following my earlier resolution not to wear dresses for the moment.
However, as the meeting wore on and the discussion went to the plans for unexpected weather changes while shooting the exterior scenes, Rob’s friendly demeanor mangled my vulnerable emotions.
Rob’s continued absorption with the details of the shooting schedule cannot be faulted, yet, his seeming indifference to my presence pressed heavily on my chest, forcing my breath to come in shallow gasps.
We were right across from each other, sharing the same table, yet worlds apart as if there was a yawning abyss of space between us. I looked down to hide the helpless wetness brimming in my eyes.
.
I could feel my face crumpling under the pressure of my surging anguish, but, I forced myself to look up when my name was called.
After the short conversation with the assistant director, I kept my face resolutely averted for a moment to collect myself, biting my lip while I tried to stem the pain that was threatening to crush me in its wake.
Finally, the interminable meeting ended, but, my torment continued as we stopped to pose with Twilight fans, my body feeling the heat emanating from his as we stood near each other. The sight of a casually slung arm of a fan across Rob’s shoulders even brought a throbbing ache, knowing that even that most casual of touches was denied to me.
Outside the restaurant, Rob was surrounded by more Twilight fans, which effectively separated me from his side. I observed with a pang how he didn’t even seem to notice my absence.
My throat choked with tears and there was a devastating tightness to my heart that would not abate.
I turned my back on the excited throng and walked away, a solitary figure that was soon swallowed by the darkening streets.
Distressed howls erupted from the monsters’ throats.
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
The Privacy Decision I would have dismissed the distance and seeming aloofness as a mutual decision in response for the need for privacy, except pictures 5-7 (from the top) brought me up short. It reminded me of the same expressions on Kristen’s face during the MTV Awards (go to 1:23).
But, please be reminded that there are always surprises on the Robsten rollercoaster ride. There are upcoming twists and turns for sure. Plus, please remember that this Kristen Stewart diary entry is a work of FICTION.
Video Edited by crisp09
Thank You A humongous thank you to ATwilightKiss reader Karen for once again listening to my pleas to upload the pictures. I think majority are from mrpattinson.com, with the exception of the first two images. Thank you to the sites for posting the pictures.
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The Kristen Stewart Diaries — The Scent of Robert Pattinson
The Kristen Stewart Diaries – Becoming Possessive of Robert Pattinson
The Kristen Stewart Diaries — Watching Sam Bradley with Robert Pattinson
May 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Wow I never thought of the pictures that way and the distance. Are they in between Nm and Eclipse why the distance? Maybe MA is in italy or something related to that…
You are amazing with your insight
May 26th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Poor Kristen, don’t give up!! ^^ LOL
By the way, the pics of the distance between them, is taken in Tuscany …not M.
May 26th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
@ robsten fan :-
They are shooting the last of NM movie, 4 days or so in italy. After this, Rob will go and shoot the movie, Remember Me. Then he will have like 3 days break before they start to shoot Eclipse movie in August. As far as I have heard on it.
And no, MA, is not in italy!!!!
May 26th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
WOW … after finished reading, I felt fr pic 5,6,7, the way you described her feeling …it really hit me hard … i feel like crying myself … it’s what really reflected down there deep down … WOOW ….
Well done lorna!! I love the diaries..
May 26th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
My Aunt says maybe he’s very tired after Cannes and tiredness/fatigue can adversely affect any romantic plans the two might have had so maybe RPAttz is just tired from all those traveling.
May 26th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
@TeamEdward76 :
Thanks for answering back and clearing the confusion. hopefully its fatigue and getting ready for the other roles they need to act
May 26th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Well done, I felt sad for Kristen looking at these pictures. When I first saw these pictures I thought they were all just being professional and of course like PP said, Rob’s tired from Cannes. It looks like they were talking business in these pictures. I was sorta shocked too to see Kristen wear a dress (and it’s not a premiere). I remember she said in one interview that she has an aversion to “being sexy.” And that she doesn’t really like dresses
.
May 26th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
You know after watching all of this for so long…it must be hard. It must be hard to fall for a guy that out of the blue becomes everyone’s joy toy. She has to let it happen. It is good for his career but where does that leave her? She has to be thinking….will he always love me? Will he be distracted and get carried away with all of this…it is transit you know…one day the 700 girls at the hotel door will be three..four. It is a storm that has to be faced because without the fans the movies are not made. Everything for the producers is about money. So yes I think he still loves her and she lets herself understand that she loves him but she has to ask herself…will this sensitive…over sensitive guy become self absorbed and forget about me? Will I only become a love song that fades to a happy memoir? Will I be the only one in love in the end of all this and have my heart broken? —Kristen likes feeling like a women now so the dress thing I think is for her not just Rob. He makes her feel like a women….
May 26th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Hi Lorna,
This may be fiction but it got me. hahaha
I hope this is not happening in real life.
The shipper in me screams. No, please let this not be the the truth, even if just snippets of it! hahaha
Your imagination and ideas come out through your writing… and beautiful they are. Mine, through my vids. Unfortunately, since I’m gonna be very busy, it may take a while for me to create another one.
Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUHM2_By3KE
May 26th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Hello… Does anyone here have any idea where Michael Angarano is? Sources say he was there. I don`t see them in these pictures. I am actually more than happy that “MA” isn`t there! It`s so much harder if he`s around!
Thanks!
May 26th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
wow this is soo good
the saying a picture holds a thousand words springs to mind lol you really make it sound like that is what’s going on! wow again haha 
x
May 26th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
These pictures are just fine as far as I’m concerned. What I see are two jaded and exhausted people who lack sleep and has limited time to rest and unwind.
We have to understand the frantic demand of their schedule. Kristen was continuously shooting her remaining scenes in VC prior to flying in Italy; Rob has completely immersed himself in Cannes attending interviews, photoshoots during the day, and socials at night up to the wee hours.
Too much work took its toll to their respective bodies, and when jetlag and sleep deprivation hit you, your mood changes and your enthusiasm will hit rock bottom.
What’s important is that their together having lunch, doing some sight seeing, and based on twilightitalia’s account went to ride on the same car en route to the same hotel.
May 26th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
i love to read this diaries … you are a good writer … its soo good i feel like crying … cant wait for new moon!!! …. ohh and please could you try and make a version of this in robert’s diaries ? i would really love that … anyways as always good job !
May 26th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Hi Lola. Yes, there will be a Robert Pattinson diary version. Mulling it over before hitting the keys…
May 26th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
@ Caaaass:-
some blogs mistook another guy in the pic (supposedly black tshirt guy who’s rob’s manager?) to be MA … and didn’t correct the mistake …
May 26th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
@ lorna / twilight : -
DDD
so there will be a rob’s version … will it be out today
I hope it’s not like that he lost interest…
it will kill me .. the robsten fan .. lol..
PS: You rocks!
May 26th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
So Robsten obsessed. Maybe they are just tired or had a fight? Did he hookup with that blonde? Radaronline is the one who reported MA is in Italy, but since he is always with her, you would think there would be pictures and there are none.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:08 am
Lorna, I don’t know. I didn’t feel the distance on these pictures. I see an exhausted girl and a really tired boy. They are working all the day, they need a break.
And about KS diary: I have read MA was in Italy to visit KS. But no photos.If it is true, you are right and there is a distance between RP/KS, and I understand why Rob keeps this distance.
And last but not least: I like your diary, Lorna, as always.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:00 am
MA is not in Italy nor will he be neither is Nikki. These are nasty rumors that have been proven false. Who do you think would like to spread stuff like this…think about it.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:11 am
TeamEdward76, yes, these photos are also in Tuscany because Montepulciano is part of the southern Tuscany region, in the same way that Volterra is part of the Tuscany region.
Sources: Wikipedia
Montepulciano
Volterra
Tuscany
May 27th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
biting nails.. awaiting in patience… the Robert Pattinson Diary on this…
Lorna, you really have a sharp imagination…
May 27th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
i’ve seen this video like a million times! I almost cried. Love it!
(hopelly even more! …like love)
they are so attracted to each other
May 27th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Can it be fairly said that it is Kstew who is distancing herself from Rob.If you notice in the photos where she is wearing the short blue dress, she walked ahead of the group with Ashley and she kept her distance.Maybe they had an LQ over the blonde issue in Cannes that’s why she seemed 2 be cold toward him.I can also say that because they were sightseeing and eating with a group, it’s hard 2have PDA so maybe that could also explain the “distance/aloofness” between the two.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
wow .. that was unbelievable I was nearly in tears poor kristen…to me one of the photos looks like they had a few words before they came to the meeting about cannes… I really hope that they do get over this robstein 4eva. Cheer up kristen atleast you have the movie for him to rekindle his love for you again…..
May 27th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Secondhand Serenade – Fall For You
Best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying……
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core..
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I’d never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep
And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find
Fictitiously.
Anyone searching for MA? He’s somewhere memorizing Secondhand Serenade’s Fall For You guitar tab. Getting ready to present it to Kristen in a romantic dinner planned at the end of New Moon shoot.
Lesson to learn?
1. R/K shipper should still be glad, though the distant may exist (like LL had so amazingly & talentedly written–good job, hun!), we can still see them together in one frame.
2. MA still exist. He’s still her bf. Sad, it may seem. How something that’s soo… believable can be soo… heartbreaking.
Note:
1. Photo #4. Seems like Rob paying attention to KS’s fingers. Longing, gazing, musing…, over Kristen’s somewhat tired-looking-fingers.
What is he thinking of? He looks adrift with that sight. So yeah, waiting for Rob’s diary version. :d
2. I personally really like that morning interview. Everybody knows exactly when ‘the 10 seconds’ that they deeply gaze each other. xD
3. Exactly, how many casts are going to Italy?
Thank you. Keep it up Lorna!
May 27th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Oh lorna is there any truth to this article I have just read on http://www.myparkingmag.co.uk that micheal aka Kristen BF so to speak is in italy um he came with kristen from vancouver WT OMG like is this true or not I mean according to the writer hes in Italy that probably explains why she looks sad oh poor kristen and thats probably why rob looks like hes sad too, why they have distance between them oh Robsten for ever and ever …..
August 8th, 2009 at 4:35 am
Ack, Rob?! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!! GAH! *shoots at random trees*
February 10th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Hi, Lorna,,,
I am a big fan of yours,,hahaha,,,how you do these? These stories are amazingly beautiful. I can’t get enough of it, especially when you created conflict beteween them,like this story. It’s so dramatic, which I hope it’s not based on true story, haha. I hope Robsten read them and,,wait? Have they red at least one of the master pieces of yours? Love your work, Lorna,,