A Twilight Kiss

SEQ 01. EXT. Building. Day.

A woman in a suit rushes out of a building and walks towards the street where the cars are parked beside the curb.

The woman enters a silver Volvo and expertly maneuvers into traffic.

SFX of screeching car brakes, blared horns and cursing.

SEQ 02. EXT. New York Times Square. Day.

The silver Volvo passes the famous New York Times Square, weaving in and out of traffic.

SEQ 03. EXT. Manhattan city street. Day.

Robert Pattinson is being rushed through a throng of aggressive fans. To give him a chance to escape, the four bodyguards hold out their hands to form a makeshift human barricade.

Robert Pattinson runs and steps off the curb.

The silver Volvo screeches to a stop, with the side door swinging open beside Robert Pattinson

MYSTERY WOMAN
Get in the car now!

A relieved Robert Pattinson enters the car.

At that very moment, the horde of women break through the bodyguards’ human barricade and sprints towards the car.

The mystery woman vaults over the hood of the car and closes the car door of Robert Pattinson to seal him in the safety of the car.

The mystery woman swirls to face the women and goes into a crouching attack position. The mystery woman growls aggressively.

The frantic women stop abruptly, fearful of the fearless female who’s ready to take them all at once.

While glaring ferociously at the stunned fans, the mystery woman steps back into the silver Volvo and drives away with Robert Pattinson

SEQ 04. INT. Car. Day. The mystery woman grips the steering wheel until her knuckles are white. Robert Pattinson looks at her with concern.

MYSTERY WOMAN
I should go back there and rip those women’s heads off!

ROBERT PATTINSON
No, you shouldn’t!

MYSTERY WOMAN
Tell me something. Distract me so I won’t go back!

ROBERT PATTINSON
Just put your seatbelt on!

MYSTERY WOMAN
You put your seatbelt on!

Robert Pattinson slides the seatbelt across his body and snaps it in.

SEQ 04-a. INT. Italian Restaurant. Day. Robert Pattinson and the mystery woman are seated in a secluded corner of the restaurant. A handsome young waiter approaches their table, clearly flirting with the mystery woman.

WAITER
What can I get for you?

MYSTERY WOMAN
A Coke for me.

ROBERT PATTINSON
I’ll have two cheeseburgers with everything on it and a Coke.

MYSTERY WOMAN
Make that 3 Cokes.

WAITER
Ok, I’ll be right back.

The waiter gives a lingering look at the mystery woman. Robert Pattinson glares at him. As soon as he’s out of hearing, Rob turns back to the mystery woman.

ROBERT PATTINSON
You’re really not going to eat?

MYSTERY WOMAN
No… I’m on a special diet.

SEQ 04-b. INT. Italian Restaurant. Day. The waiter arrives and serves their order.

MYSTERY WOMAN
Thank you.

WAITER
Are you sure there’s nothing else I can get for you?

MYSTERY WOMAN
No thanks, I’m fine.

The waiter leaves. Rob hungrily devours the first burger and one Coke, and then slows down. The mystery woman pushes the second can of Coke towards him.

ROBERT PATTINSON
(pensively) How did you know where I was? Were you following me?

MYSTERY WOMAN
I… feel very protective of you.

ROBERT PATTINSON
So, how did you know where I was?

MYSTERY WOMAN
I was staying close unless you needed me but I heard what those… women were thinking…

ROBERT PATTINSON
Wait, you heard what they were thinking? You…read minds?

MYSTERY WOMAN
I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours.

The mystery woman gestures with her head towards several customers inside the restaurant.

MYSTERY WOMAN
There’s sex, money, sex, money……cat

ROBERT PATTINSON
Is there something wrong with me?

MYSTERY WOMAN
(laughs) I tell you I read minds and you ask me if there’s something wrong with you?

The mystery woman looks at Rob with an intense and burning gaze. He stops chewing abruptly and swallows.

ROBERT PATTINSON
What is it?

MYSTERY WOMAN
I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.

Rob slides his hand across the table to cover hers.

ROBERT PATTINSON
Then don’t.

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Concept by ATwilightKiss reader Isabel For anybody who has ever thought of swooping in and personally saving Robert Pattinson from overly eager fans, I think the concept for this parody by ATK reader Isabel will totally appeal to you. She sent me via email (see below) her version of the incident, which I have edited into a script form.

The spoken lines in the script are totally the creation of Twilight scriptwriter Melissa Rosenberg, with revisions to fit the circumstances of the cab incident

Email from ATwilightKiss reader Isabel Here’s her email in full:

Woman walking towards her car in a hurry. She gets in and drives to a busy section of Manhattan. She spots an area where there’s a large group of women screaming and following a guy in the street. The man looks scared out of his wits. He has 4 large men milling about him, pushing the women away from him as they walked.

She picked a spot ahead and stopped the car abruptly. She got out of the car and ran towards the large crowd thrashing around the man. She stopped in front of him. He looked at her and was relieved to see her there. She could see the anguish on his face.

Woman: Get in the car now!

Rpattz runs to get in the sleek silver Volvo. Woman growls at all the wild women. She then runs back to her car and drives off swerving from left to right.

Woman: I should go back there and rip those women’s heads off!

Rpattz: No you shouldn’t!

Woman: Tell me something, distract me so I won’t go back!

Rpattz: Just put your seatbelt on!

Woman: (snickers) You put your seatbelt on!

Next scene: A nice Italian restaurant. Woman and Rpattz are seated at a quiet area of the restaurant, away from prying eyes.

A handsome young waiter goes over the table, eyeing the woman. He checks her head to toe and smiles approvingly. Rpattz glares at the waiter.

Waiter: What can I get for you(looking at the woman)?

Woman: A Coke for me(she barely even notices him, her eyes fixated on Rpattz).

Rpattz: I’ll have a cheeseburger with everything on it and a Coke.

Woman: Make that 3 Cokes.

Waiter: Ok I’ll be right back (waiter winks at the woman and leaves).

Rpattz: (Looking over his shoulder and then to the woman). You’re really not going to eat?

Woman: No… I’m on a special diet (yeah gluten-free & dairy-free).

After 15 minutes, the waiter comes back with the drinks and Rpattz’s order. Woman gets 1 Coke while Rpattz gets 2 Cokes.

Woman: Thank you

Waiter: Are you sure there’s nothing else I can get for you? (makes goo-goo eyes at her).

Woman: No thanks, I’m fine.

Rpattz takes a bite out of his burger. He suddenly realized how hungry he was and he could probably eat 5 more cheeseburgers! Woman takes a sip out of her Coke. Rpattz notices that she is staring at him.

Rpattz: How did you know where I was? Were you following me?

Woman: I… feel very protective of you (with lots of emotion and brooding).

Rpattz: So how did you know where I was?

Woman: I was staying close unless you needed me but I heard what those lowlifes were thinking…

Rpattz: Wait, you heard what they were thinking? You…read minds?

Woman: I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours (they both look around the restaurant).

Woman: There’s sex, money, sex, money……cat

Rpattz: Is there something wrong with me(He says with a puzzled look)?

Woman: (laughs) I tell you I read minds and you ask me if there’s something wrong with you? (She shakes her pretty little head)

Rpattz blinks his eyes rapidly(Bella-style). Woman sighs deeply and looks frustrated.

Rpattz: What is it? (while chewing his burger)

Woman: I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.

Rpattz: Then don’t (takes a sip out of his Coke).

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