A Twilight Kiss

While visiting the New Moon set, Robert Pattinson paused to sign autographs and pose for pictures with the Twihards, when, suddenly, he was grabbed by an overzealous fan, who clamped onto the shocked Twilight star, before sinking her fangs into his neck.

Volunteer Canadian Mounties, charged with keeping the peace among the crowds who stay on the edges of the set, immediately grabbed the unidentified female fan, while a bleeding Pattinson was rushed by production assistants to the medical staff in one of the trailers. An ambulance was seen leaving the set a few minutes later.

The extent of his injuries is still yet unknown. It is not also clear whether assault charges will be brought against Pattinson’s attacker.

Most of the Twihards were upset at the incident, and a majority cried tears of distress. A horrified onlooker described the attack as “shocking” and “disturbing.”

TRUE OR FALSE? Totally FALSE. I just made the story up.

My point is, if you’re going to make up a story about Rob, it has to be near the truth (the best lies always are). That is why the National Enquirer report of Mike Walker about Robert Pattinson getting hit on the head by a piece of flying metal did not ring true; because, with Rob, there are many other possible stories that can one can make up about him that will seem more real.

How about crashing into a wall for missing his mark during the course of his training (based on his spatial intelligence)? Or a short stay in the hospital from lead poisoning for using non-microwaveable plates (based on the fact that he doesn’t know how to use a microwave)? Or how he’s disturbing his Twilight partner Kristen Stewart with his mere existence (Oh sorry, that one’s true. Hehe. Just had to sneak it in!)?

As Rob keeps repeating, he doesn’t do anything, a claim that Lainey supports, “Robert has been training every day. Cable, wires and underwater. Then he chain smokes. And locks himself in his hotel room the rest of the time…”

With Rob’s limited activities due to his focus on his work, the paps will be forced to make up stories about him, like being linked to a princess or a heiress, getting some poor girl pregnant, denying his baby, being secretly gay, being kidnapped and tortured by aliens (by some nutty Twihards maybe); but, you guys know Rob, right?

Anyway, heard that Rob’s team allegedly doesn’t include a publicist. What’s up with that? Kristen Stewart has two!

If it’s true, Rob needs just half a publicist since he has fantastic interpersonal skills already. Besides, he’s proven to be a great interview, revealing yet discreet. The half-publicist will just be there to make sure somebody can make an official statement regarding his healthy condition and whereabouts.

Okay, make it one whole publicist. Can’t have a disembodied person walking about. A disembodied voice maybe…

Thanks to ATwilightKiss reader Chi for asking, “Is this rumor true?”

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