Jan 6 2012

The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Snow White, the Huntsman and the Steamy Bath

WARNING: Aside from being potentially offensive, reading this with a wild imagination may cause undue heart palpitations and wanton desires, so please use your own discretion. ;)

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen for Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan

Kristen Stewart at Snow White and the Huntsman Shoot in Wales - September 2011

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Dec 24 2011

The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Persuading Kristen Stewart to Wear Victoria’s Secret for Christmas

WARNING: Aside from being potentially offensive, reading this with a wild imagination may cause undue heart palpitations and wanton desires, so please use your own discretion. ;)

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen for Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan

“You look absolutely lovely…” I whispered hoarsely as Kristen stepped out gingerly from behind the bathroom door.

And so she did. The Victoria’s Secret ensemble that I had managed to cajole her into wearing was a fine piece for her petite frame, mirroring the ones she wore in the Breaking Dawn honeymoon sequences when Bella tried to seduce Edward. Those sexy little nothings gave me the idea to attempt to give Kristen one as a present for Christmas.

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Dec 19 2011

The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Playing Just the Tip with Kristen Stewart

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen for Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan

WARNING: Aside from being potentially offensive, reading this with a wild imagination may cause undue heart palpitations and wanton desires, so please use your own discretion. ;)

Bloody hell! This was more torturous than I had anticipated. I had the mistaken notion that after shooting the horrendous, reminiscing sequence the day before, which had involved partial nudity, the lovemaking scheduled for today would be an easier task, since I could cover Kristen’s petite form with my larger frame. However, I had not accounted for the physical effects of being almost naked while on top of one’s girlfriend to be so, well, hard.

We had foregone the usual protective plastic contraptions over our nether parts, and had opted for ridiculous thongs that would give the impression of nudity. Kristen need not have done so since I, and the sheet, will shield her, but, she knew I would feel like an idiot for wearing the g-string so she had donned one herself to make me laugh, which it did.

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Jul 26 2011

The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Kristen Stewart in a White Tee at the 2011 Comic Con

WARNING: This post contains language that you may find offensive. Please use your own discretion.

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen for Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan

As Kristen passed the end of the hotel bed, I leisurely watched her perky breasts push against her thin white tee. “Wearing that to the panel, babe?”

“Of course not. You know I hate wearing bras.”

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Mar 24 2011

The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Kristen Stewart and The Swear Jar

WARNING: This post contains language that you may find offensive, i.e. the fictional Kristen will use the word f—k a lot of times, as in A LOT. If the idea offends you, please stop and do not read further.

A Fictitious Entry that Chronicles the Thirst of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen for Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan

“F—-ing s—t! F—k! F—k! F—k!”

Kristen’s angry tirade came nearer.

“Rob, just take a f—ing look at these f—ing stupid pics they got from last night when we were f—ing leaving the resto!

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