A Twilight Kiss » ATwilightKiss Chats

ATK Chats — Robert Pattinson Inspires Elephant Love

Lorna Lopez — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 01:12:04 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Photo Courtesy of Flashpoint Entertainment

Ohh… That’s so cute! The elephant is kissing you. That means she really likes you! It’s a girl elephant, right? What’s her name? Tai?

Oh, that’s just beautiful! Was the kissy-kissy stuff part of the scene? Because it could easily look like a behind the scenes shot. You know, like a co-star showing that she really likes her co-actor.

Photo Courtesy of Flashpoint Entertainment

Oh, wait a minute. What are you doing now? Okay, do you know that elephant herds are headed by females? It looks like she wants you to be part of her herd. So, why are you hugging Tai’s trunk? You know what? You have to stop that. It’s like leading her on or something.

Oh dear. I just thought of something. She’ll be so heartbroken when she realizes she won’t see you again. Her trainer has to put a picture of you where she sleeps so she can kiss you goodnight. Every night.

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Real Elephant Trivia Elephants do live in herds that are led by females. For more elephant trivia, please click here.

Tai the Elephant The elephant that was used in Water for Elephants is indeed named Tai

Dedicated to ATwilightKiss Readers Once again, all the imaginary conversations with Robert Pattinson in this category are dedicated to the ATwilightKiss readers, so enjoy yourself. Imagine you’re the one saying all these things…

Thanks Thanks to Just Jared Jr. for the heads up about the pics.

ATK Chats — Robert Pattinson Wants To Have A Baby

Lorna Lopez — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 16:01:41 +0000

Photo Courtesy of Robert Pattinson Life

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Woah! Is that a baby in the picture? Why are you holding a baby? And, who, may I ask, is the woman beside you? Is there something you want to tell me, babe? A secret from your past, maybe?

Oh, she’s your co-actor in Breaking Dawn. What’s her name? Alex Rice. And she plays Sue Clearwater. And her baby’s name is Bella? Ooooohhhh… That is so cute!

Okay, I must admit, you look really sexy carrying Bella. You know, the way opposites look great together, like, huge masculine hands cradling a tiny baby.

What?! It’s making you maudlin? What does that mean? You want your own baby? Haha! Oh… You’re serious, aren’t you? Wait, you don’t mean, like, right now, right? Like, you mean, in the future? As in so far into the future that you can’t see it because it’s too far, right? Right?

Stop it, Rob. You’re scaring me. You want to practice making a baby? Okay, I can go with that. Right now? Aaahhh!!!

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Frames His Package

Lorna Lopez — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 00:19:03 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Oh babe. Just look at you. Fighting and everything. It’s very…sexy seeing you so coordinated. Oops. Not that you aren’t coordinated in other… Uhm… You know… Ways…

What I’m trying to say is you look good, okay? Wow! You’re pushing your trainer and blocking his moves! And you didn’t even trip or fall! That’s really a huge improvement!

And you’re running! Actually running! That’s absolutely awesome! It’s mesmerizing to see you with your heels going up so fast! I didn’t think you could move so swiftly! I’m totally shocked! In a good way, babe!

Eh… Rob, what are you wearing over your shirt and shorts? It looks like a vest, but, it somehow reminds me of a corset with those interlocking laces. I don’t mind the vest cum corset because it makes me focus on your chest, but, I wish you had your shirt off though so I can see your muscles. Uhm-uhm…

And what are those straps in between…your legs? Oohh… I like that best of all because it frames your…uhm…package…

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson and the Naked Models in Details Magazine

Lorna Lopez — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:49:43 +0000

WARNING: This post contains language and an image that you may find offensive. Please use your own discretion.

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

I am so not talking to you. Really. I’m not…

Okay, so I bet you just had a grand time surrounded by those totally nude, stark naked, beautiful, gorgeous models, didn’t you? For like what? Twelve hours?

What do you mean you didn’t like it? You had to drink the night before just to get through it? And you didn’t know where to look? I would imagine you were looking everywhere! You hate vaginas? I happen to have one. One you’re intimately acquainted with, I might add. Oh, you love mine. Just mine alone, and, nobody else’s? Uhm, highly commendable, but, total crap.

You’re a guy. And guys are interested in naked girls all the time. In all their different body parts. Legs, breasts, butts… Vaginas included.

Photo Courtesy of Details Magazine
Photo Uploaded from RadarOnline.com
Photo: Norman Jean Roy

You want me to look at you cringing in between that girl’s legs? Oh c’mon! Isn’t that every guy’s fantasy? Look more closely? The photographer had to tell you to put your hand on her leg? Yeah right! And now you’re going to tell me that he told you to put your finger on that model’s ass? Yeah right!

And, how come you’re pawing my butt? Because it’s MY butt. Uh-huh. You know what? For some strange weird reason, I believe your outlandish explanations. Or, maybe, I just want to believe it for my sanity. Whatever the reason may be, keep on manhandling me to convince me, baby…

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Robert Pattinson Uncomfortable with Naked Models Robert Pattinson has been quoted regarding his discomfort during the Details Magazine shoot.

Robert On His Sexy Details Shoot: “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours… Thank God I was hungover….

“This shoot, it’s kind of ’80s nakedness, you know?” he said. “If you look at porn in, like, the ’80s, there was something kind of quaint about it, quite sweet – like this little naked community.”

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson and the Maid (Part 2)

Lorna Lopez — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:56:10 +0000

Photo Courtesy of RadarOnline.com
Photo: Splash News

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

To read Part 1 of ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson and the Maid, please click here.

Good evening, master. How was your day, sir? I hope everything went well. Will you be requiring my assistance in any way, sir? Oh! Follow you into your bedroom? But sir! That would be quite inappropriate, I believe. Even scandalous! My reputation will be in shreds! I’m a good girl, sir, I am!

I will be well rewarded? With a large endowment? With a long member? A pleasure filled encounter? Oh, you are tempting me greatly, master.

Oh, you like me calling you master? Well, you are master of the house. That is rightly your title.

I don’t understand when you say you’re taking advantage of your position. Oh! You’re commanding me to go into your bedroom? Not requesting. Not asking.

Very forceful of you. How can I refuse? Very well, master. Oh! You do know how to sweep a girl off her feet! Master, I’m afraid I must insist. As a gentleman, I will hold you to your word. You did promise a pleasure filled encounter…

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Bel Ami Robert Pattinson is currently shooting period film Bel Ami in England with “Academy Award nominated actresses Uma Thurman and Kristen Scott Thomas.”

Role Playing I hope it’s clear to everyone that this is FANTASY ROLE PLAYING, and, should not, in any way, be mistaken as acceptable behavior in a real situation, except between two consenting adults.

ATwilightKiss Chats — Not Dreaming of Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:53:02 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Babe, you’re home! I’m really really sorry, but, I did something really bad. Really bad. Don’t get mad, okay? Okay, here goes. I cheated on you. Well, not really. Sorta cheated. What do you mean it’s one or the other? Calm down.

I was pretty tired, so I took a nap. And then I had this incredible dream. Someone was kissing and touching me all over. And it felt so good. But while we were kissing, I realized it wasn’t you!

Who was it? Does it matter? Okay, I was reading People Magazine before I napped. So it was the Sexiest Man Alive. You know. Johnny Depp, okay?

Why are you laughing? What do you mean it’s normal? It’s okay with you that I was doing it with somebody else? What kind of boyfriend are you? Stop laughing! Dammit! Here I am feeling guilty and all, and you’re laughing at me!

As long as it’s in dreams only? You mean I can have dreams about kissing, touching, caressing, biting… Eck! I was just teasing!

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

You’ve just had the hottest dream about getting it on with Rob Pattinson. The only problem is, you’re happily attached! Antonio Zedra, a psychologist from the University of Montreal, says we subconsciously feel like we know our favorite stars, which can lead to intimate dreams about them. So next time you dream about sex with a celeb, enjoy! It’s normal. Really.

Source: Cleo Magazine December 2009 Issue (Thanks to Fitness First OUB Centre for having the magazine available for its members.)

ATwilightKiss Chats — Sitting on the Lap of Robert “Santa Claus” Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:00:40 +0000

Photo Courtesy of Vanity Fair
Photo: Bruce Weber
Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Babe, please humor me. C’mon, wear the Santa Claus hat. Please. There you go. See, it’s not that bad. Will you drop the pout? You’re gonna look like Scrooge. Now stay still. I’ll just sit on your lap and pretend that you’re Santa Claus.

I can’t stop wriggling! I’m trying to get comfy here. I have a long list. What do you mean something else is getting long? I’m the one making wishes here! Not— Oww! What’s that?!? Oh! Oh… Oooohh…

Uhm, Santa, I’ve been a very naughty girl this year. As in very bad. Can I show you how naughty I’ve been?

ATwilightKiss Chats — The Robert Pattinson Lips

Lorna Lopez — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:29:51 +0000

WARNING: Aside from being potentially offensive, reading this with a wild imagination may cause undue heart palpitations and wanton desires, so please use your own discretion.

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Oh yeah, baby! Yes! You’re so good, baby! Uhm, yeah! Right there! Yes! Oohhh!!! Ah! I can’t take it! I’m gonna… *gasps*

Baby, you’re home! Uhm, what was I doing? Uhm, waiting impatiently for you to come home? And, uhm, amusing myself while waiting? What’s this? Uhm, your cute face? Show the back? Uhm, the apple thing? No, there isn’t anything anymore! Oh f—k! Don’t put your hand there! I’m gonna…

*gasps* I told you, baby. The combination of your imaginary lips and the reality of your fingers… Now, we make it real lips and real fingers? Uhm, wait, I’m still too sensitive. I said wwwaaaaaaaiiittt!!!

Photo Courtesy of Twitarded

To see the front and back panels of the panties, plus, the background story as to how these titillating underpants came about, please visit Twitarded

Thanks to Robsessed for the heads up.

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Cross Stitch

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:46:19 +0000

Ow! Damn it! Nothing! Everything’s fine, baby. Just finishing something here. I know, I know. But I want it to be a surprise. Just let me go on working on it, okay? It’s almost done anyway.

Ow! Ouch! S—t! Why didn’t I ever listen to my teacher on how to do this? F—k!

Baby, please come here and kiss my boo-boo… Oh yeah, suck it real hard… Uhm, here’s my surprise… Ooohhh, you’d rather make patterns all over me? Uh-huh…

Photo Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

ATwilightKiss Chats — Muscle Man Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:08:32 +0000

Photo Courtesy of West Australian Magazine
Photo: Stewart Shining
Photo Edited by and Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Hey babe! Can you please open this bottle for me? Thanks. And, can you please pull this out for me? It seems to be stuck.

Now that I’m thinking about it, would you mind rearranging the stuff in the living room? Like, can you put the couch over there by the window? Maybe the table on the other side. Oh wait, I think it’s better over there. And that over there. And this one over here. Plus, the chair would fit better over there.

What do you mean it’s just the same? Okay, fine. Guilty as charged. I just wanted to see your muscles ripple and everything. *giggles* You want to workout your love muscle? Come over here, baby, and I’ll take care of it for you…

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson and the Maid

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:03:50 +0000

Robert Pattinson in Bel Ami Fan Made Wallpaper is Courtesy of Thinking of Rob

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Hey, babe! I hurried home as fast as I could. Oh, you’re already dressed in your Halloween costume! You’re just so cute in those period clothes! You look like one of those gents in Sense and Sensibility! Is that how you’ll look like in Bel Ami? Is it going to be done in period?

Where’s my Halloween costume? I’m so excited! Is it like one of the costumes Kate Winslet wore in Sense and Sensibility? A secret?!? C’mon, tell me! It’s in the bedroom? Okay, I’ll be right out…

*after 10 minutes a voice is heard through the barely open door* Rob, baby, I think they made a mistake. I think they gave you the wrong size. This Halloween costume’s way too small. Come out? Uhm… I don’t think so. It’s really embarrassing. Oh fine!

See? Babe, it’s just too small. First and foremost, it’s too low in front. You can see the girls almost down to the, you know… And, I’m hardly breathing now because one or even both may pop out.

I don’t think this is the costume for the lady of the house. It’s clearly for the maid! A very small maid, may I add! And, look at this, Rob! There’s even a feather duster! You have to call and ask them to exchange it with the one you really ordered! What do you mean it’s the correct one?!? Of course not! It can’t be!

Are you crazy?!? Pick up the newspaper on the floor?!? Pick it up yourself! Can’t you see the skirt part’s way too short?!? If I pick up the newspaper, you’ll be able to see all of me! You don’t believe me?

*walks over and picks up the fallen newspaper* See?!? I told you you can see everything! Stay like this?!? What do you mean that’s the idea?!? This is a very uncomfortable position, you know, not to mention quite ridiculous! Oh! What’s that?!?

Rob… Babe, stop teasing me with the feather duster! Please! Yes, I’ll follow all your commands. Within reason! Just stop it already! Promise to follow everything without question? Who do you think you are? I am not your maid! Oooohh… Ooookay, I’ll be the maid to your master of the house…

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Cereal

Lorna Lopez — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:18:50 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Rob! At last, you’re awake! Oh yeah, good morning to you too! Sit right here and close your eyes, babe! Please, just close your eyes! I have a surprise for you!

And now, for breakfast, let me present the one and only cereal that will make you feel as if you’re part of The Twilight Saga! Tah-dah! You can open your eyes now!

Box Design by Kellogg’s and Summit Entertainment
Photo Uploaded from Crepúsculo Meyer

Yeah, yeah, I know. You find it strange to see your face on shirts and stuff, much less a cereal box! But, babe, can you imagine the TV commercial that will go with this?

Hey kids, eat a spoonful of cereal *puts a small spoonful of cereal inside mouth, crunches then swallows* and it will strong make you as strong as a werewolf like Jacob Black!

And, *repeats action* as sexy as a vampire like Edward Cullen!

And, *repeats action* it will make you smart like Bella Swan so that you can handle both a werewolf and a vampire! And… Eck! What are you doing? Showing me that it’s not nice to tease a vampire so early in the morning? But, aren’t you supposed to be sparkly and nice under the sun? Besides, technically, it’s really not morning anymore because it’s almost noon and…

Babe! Stop doing that! It’s broad daylight, babe! On a kitchen table? How will that work? Oh! Oh… Oooohh…

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson on a Furry Rug

Lorna Lopez — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 22:28:49 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Hey, babe, you got home before I did. What’s that? Oh, they gave you the fur rug prop after the Joepie Magazine photo shoot? Why? Because you asked for it? Why? If I rub your back, I’ll find out why?

Okay, I’m rubbing your back, so tell me why. You thought I might like it? Why? It’s considered romantic? Urm, I never heard of a custom where giving a fur rug would be considered romantic. Where did that come from — the North Pole?

Oh! Oh… Oooohh… Well, we don’t have a fireplace, but, doing it on a fur rug still seems a great idea. Wait! I’m staying on top. I don’t want to get rug burns.

Photo Credits

Photos Courtesy of Joepie Magazine
Photos: Stewart Shining

First Photo Uploaded from Thinking Of Rob

Second Photo Edited By and Uploaded from Thinking Of Rob

ATwilightKiss Chats — The Smoldering Stare of Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:01:22 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Okay, Rob, you have to stop staring at me like that. I can’t prepare my report. C’mon, babe, please… Fine, I’m facing the other way!

Photo Courtesy of One Magazine
Photo Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

Is that any better, I tell you! Rob, stop distracting me! Okay, I give up! I’ll just be a limp lifeless noodle right here! Totally incapable of doing anything! Are you happy? And, when I look like an idiot tomorrow, I will totally place the blame on you, and, you have to somehow make it up to me…

Photo Courtesy of Successful Promotions
Photo Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

ATwilightKiss Chats — The Touch of Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:53:52 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Will your nails lightly caress me?
Will your fingertips pinch me softly?
Will your fingers trail delicately over my skin?
Will your palms press its warmth against me?

And when my tears fall
Will you hold me with strong tenderness?
Will your palms cradle my face gently?
Will your fingers tuck my hair behind my ear?
Will your fingertips trace and wipe the salty tears away?

Babe, can we hold hands? Nothing, I just wanted you to hold my hand
while we walk. It just feels good, that’s all.

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes The sight of a picture of the hand imprints of Robert Pattinson at the Planet Hollywood on NYC Times Square reminded me of what I wrote in an earlier post as to what I think is the sexiest part of the Twilight hottie.

Digitally Enhanced Robert Pattinson

The man falls off the bed during a kissing scene. He loses his balance while supposedly standing still. He falls over his own feet while taking a step. Although he has improved dramatically, the man is basically ‘physical coordination’ challenged.

However, there is one part of his body that Robert Pattinson is a master of. They have been trained for years through study and training with the classical guitar and piano. They have been trained to caress, pound, thrum, graze, and hit strings and keys. They are strong, sensitive, nimble, adroit, flexible and very long.

Yes, his digits are enhanced with the ability to wreak havoc if he wishes.

ATwilightKiss Chats — The Love Muscle of Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:56:16 +0000

Photo Courtesy of AnOther Magazine
Photo: Hedi Slimane
Uploaded from Thinking of Rob

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Oh babe, are you okay? Why don’t you lie down on the bed and I’ll give you a massage?

Try to stop stressing, okay? Just put your hands down and let me do the pulling of your hair… There’s a technique to it. Yeah babe, much better, right? Now, try to breathe more slowly. Yes… Deeply… Yes…

Is your chest also hurting? Whatever did you do today? Tell me about it. Oh, your personal trainer pushed you really hard today? Oh, you poor baby. You want to remove your shirt and jacket? Sure babe.

And then you had to shoot a couple of fight scenes? Oh wow. That must have been really hard… Hey, are you hyperventilating? Try to slow down your breathing, it will help you to relax… C’mon babe, try…

Slide my hands down? But, you said you had an upper body workout. You don’t need a massage on your lower half. *giggles* Your love muscle down there needs special handling? Uhm… Right… And I bet in a few seconds your love muscle is going to need a workout as well… Uh-huh…

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Sparkles in the Dark

Lorna Lopez — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 14:55:11 +0000

Photo Uploaded from ROBsessed

WARNING: You may find the subject matter of this post offensive. Please use your own discretion.

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

It’s here! The package I ordered is here! Babe, can you please play the guitar later? Please! Please! I need you! Where are we going? To the bedroom!

What am I doing? It’s afternoon so we have to put the blinds down so it’s a little bit dark. *pulls the blinds’ strings* Come on! Faster! Come down already! There!

Off with the hoodie and shorts! Now! Quick! Come here and kiss me! Uhm… Baby, I just love how you get excited so fast… Kiss me again… Mmm-mm… Are you ready? Can I put it on you this time? This one’s sorta special.

Wait. Babe, wait. Can we stop for a while? It’s sorta not working. It’s supposed to do something. Oh babe, you know how I love it when you do that. But wait. I just need to read the box. Wait. Yeah, babe, just like that. Ohhh… Wait for just two seconds! Promise! I just need to turn off the lights! *turns off the light switch*

*squeals* OMG! It really does glow! And it sparkles! Wait, babe. I wanna see it. Just for a little while longer… *giggles* Not that it’s not pretty long already… Oh babe, it’s so…dazzling! A little Twilight humor there! Oohhh… You’re gonna punish me for teasing you? Bring on the sparkles, babe! I’m ready to glow!

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Thanks This post was inspired by the comments of the Robsten Lovers readers and ATK reader Lala

Haha! Can’t stop laughing! I had no idea what was going on so I clicked the link and saw the BC named Twilight! Lmao. It could work though..stop teen pregz, I mean. Next there will be a Twilight condom that sparkles! Lol I thought about this before I read the comments there so it’s not only me who had this idea!

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Gets Naked for $12M

Lorna Lopez — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:34:30 +0000

Photo Courtesy of RadarOnline.com
Photo: INF

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

*throws herself into his arms* Babe, oh babe… I’m sorry, I…I can’t seem to stop… *hyperventilating* …crying… *howls loudly* Take off… Please… *Rob removes shades and cap* Shirts too… *Rob throws the shirts away* Plus the… *Perplexed Rob pulls the buttons of his jeans*

Just…stand there…please… *cries harder*

*raises her voice* Sure! Take everything off! Because everybody’s going to see it real soon anyway! Every minute detail! Every muscle! Every sinew! Every curve! Every crevice! Everybody’s gonna see the cute dimple on your butt! *wails and collapses on the bed*

What am I talking about? Your nude scene in New Moon! What else? Don’t pretend! Don’t keep it a secret from me any longer!

Whatever gave me that idea? Well, I read that you’re getting paid $12M for New Moon, and, you always said that if you ever got paid that much you’d walk around stark naked! *buries her face in the pillow and cries hysterically*

Which part’s not true? The part that you’re not getting paid $12M or the part that you’re not gonna be naked in New Moon? Both? Really? Really really? Cross your heart?

Oh sorry, baby… I guess I lost my head, huh? But, since you’re in your birthday suit and all, can I please see your dimple? I think it will make me feel better… Uh-huh…

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

The $12M Pay Check Question Chicago Sun-Times reports that Robert Pattinson is being paid the sum of $12M for doing New Moon.

However, this is an old rumor that The Twilight Saga actor has already debunked personally in an interview with BBC, where he makes it perfectly clear what he’s willing to do for that amount, and, hence, the inspiration for this post.

“If I’m getting paid $12M a movie I’d walk around naked. That’s all nonsense. I don’t know who makes that stuff up. Even the price [of $2M] for the first one was nonsense.”

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson as the Volvo Hot Special of the Month

Lorna Lopez — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:16:45 +0000

WARNING: Aside from being potentially offensive, reading this with a wild imagination may cause undue heart palpitations and wanton desires, so please use your own discretion.

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Rob, baby, can you please do something for me? Great! C’mon! Where are we going? Well, you’re going out the door. Trust me, okay? Yeah, don’t worry. Just go to the end of the hallway and come walking towards me. And, whatever I say, just play along and go with it, okay? Now go and do a sexy walk.

Hey, are you looking for 7C? Yup, you’ve found it. I’m (your name). Are you here to deliver the keys to my black Volvo? It’s parked on the sidewalk? Thanks.

Mmm-mm… When Volvo says Hot Special of the Month, they really do mean it. You know what? You look like that guy on the Volvo site, you know, that guy from Twilight. That Robert Pattinson guy. Yeah? Girls say that a lot? I bet they do.

Well, you do have his eyes, lips and scruffy look. OMG! You just ran your hand through your hair just the same way he does! Maybe you are Robert Pattinson! Can I keep a secret? Yeah!

*whispers* You really are Robert Pattinson? And, you go around delivering some of the black Volvos that’s been ordered for the month of September 2009? But, aren’t you shooting Eclipse? Oh, you do it on your free time!

Can you also keep a secret? Well, I can’t really keep a secret for the life of me. Why don’t we “talk” about it? How long? I think it will take the whole morning and afternoon because I need a blow by blow description of every car part such as the shaft, I mean, shift, and, I need to check if the pistons really hammer in and out. And, I definitely need a test drive – from long slow drives to scream your head off super fast rides.

Uh-huh. You’re more than ready to service me? Well, come on in. The bedroom’s right this way.

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Robert Pattinson as the Volvo Hot Special of the Month Robert Pattinson really does appear on the Volvo web page with a HOT SPECIALS OF THE MONTH sign blazing on top of him.

For the Volvo web page link, please visit Cullen Boys Anonymous, whom I also want to thank for the Volvo photo link.

The Twilight Saga Black Volvo and I Video I have an idea! How about visiting your local Volvo dealer with your Eclipse book (or anything identified with Twilight), and have your pic taken with the black Volvo? And then, photoshop your name, your location and the Volvo dealer’s location at the bottom of the pic. For example:

Lorna Lopez
Manila Philippines
Volvo Ortigas Center

And then, if a generous ATK reader volunteers to collate all these photos and edit them into a video, we can send them to that super great person! Just throwing it out there… Volunteers, please leave your name in the comments section.

Photo Courtesy of RadarOnline.com
Photo: INF Daily

ATwilightKiss Chats — Get Out of the Rain Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 16:57:48 +0000

Photo Uploaded from ROBsessed

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Hey babe, I’m in the kitchen. I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve been so worried about you with the sudden downpour and all…

OMG! You are SO WET! It looks like you got caught in the rain! No? Then how did you get wet? Don’t tell me you deliberately got wet? Sorta? What do you mean? You walked in the rain?!? Are you insane?!? You’re gonna get sick!!!

There! See! You just sneezed! And again! That just proves me right! Get out of those wet clothes right now! Hurry! Before the cold really sets in and you get the flu or something! C’mon! Do it while we’re going to the bathroom!

You’re shivering! Oh no! Your hands are shaking! Can you get your jeans off? Let me do it. Oops. Sorry, babe. I yanked too hard.

C’mon! Get under the shower right now! Okay, I’ll just prepare some soup and… Aaahhh! Rob, what are you doing? What the heck did you do that for? Now, I’m getting wet! You need heat? That’s what the hot shower is for, you dummy.

Oh, you read somewhere that body heat is the most effective way to warm up somebody? Uh-huh. Right. Well, you just can’t be too sure then. Let me get out of these clothes right now.

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Thanks This post was inspired by a comment from Melissa in Missouri. While I had visions of Gene Kelly Singin’ in the Rain, her thoughts went to a more practical, and hence, naughtier direction.

I’m just picturing the inevitable undressing he will have to do when he gets back to the hotel. Please tell me I’m not the only one!!!!

Body Heat for Warmth By the way, the Eclipse detail of the skin to skin method as the most effective means of transferring heat is a medical fact.

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson Seduces in French

Lorna Lopez — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:10:28 +0000

Photo Courtesy of Premiere France

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

I am totally mad at you, okay? There is absolutely nothing you can say to make me forgive you! Nothing!

What the heck are you whispering in my ear? I feel weird or something. What are you saying? Are you reciting some mumbo jumbo that you learned from Harry Potter? I know you’re not really a wizard! But, maybe you picked up some magical phrases or something while you were shooting.

Well, if it’s not magic, then what is it? I feel funny when you say those words. Sorta mushy and soft. What?!? You can’t speak French to me! That is such an underhanded thing to do! Isn’t it called, like, the language of love or something? No fair!

So, how do you say, ‘Kiss me. Really hard, please…’

ATwilightKiss Chats — Will You Watch Over Me Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:55:24 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Oh, that’s cute! Yeah, babe, just like that! Hold it with the lip thing! Hey, don’t move! I’m moving the chalk as fast as I can.

Picture by: Jackson Lee / Splash News

Oohh… I like that, baby! It looks like you’re staring at me while I sleep. I’ll just keep drawing outlines, and then I’ll choose the one I like the best, okay? How many more? Just a couple more probably.

Picture by: Splash News

That’s it! That’s it! Hold it, baby! Oh babe, this is going to look fantastic! Will you stop grumbling? I have the real thing right here so I’m taking advantage of it.

It’s like you’re watching me broodingly, and, you want to clamp your hands on me, but, you know you can’t. Wait! I’m not finished yet! No clamping of hands! You know that’s gonna lead to the other stuff! Darn it, fine! Let’s finish it later…

Picture by: Tom Meinelt / Splash News

Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes

Edward Cullen Wall Decal This chat was inspired by a wall decal that’s being sold.

Photo Courtesy of Lainey Gossip

ATwilightKiss Chats — Tearing Off The Robert Pattinson Wet T-Shirt

Lorna Lopez — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:27:54 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

*laughs* This is so funny! Rob, baby, where are you? You gotta see this! Babe! Babe? What? Where? Oh yeah, I totally forgot. So, babe, are you done fixing that shower yet? You don’t really need to fix it, you know. Why don’t we just call the plumber? Come on out, baby! Hurry! Oh, oh, oh!

Baby, you’re in a wet T-shirt… Oh, you lost to the shower head? Uh-huh… What was I going to show you?

Well, Rachelle and Nikki were having this tug-o-war with the Edward Cullen pillow, so they pulled really hard from opposite directions… *tears at shirt* And then, Rachelle pulled this way… *tears at shirt* And, Nikki pulled the other way… *tears at shirt* And, they kept pulling in all directions… *tears at shirt* …until it’s completely in tatters…

*breathing raggedly* Yeah, I just made the last part up… Do you care?

Photo Credits

First Photo Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly
Photo: Michael Muller
Photo Uploaded from Lion and Lamb Love

Second Photo Courtesy of Rolling Stone Magazine
Photo: Theo Wenner
A Photo Exclusive from US Weekly
Photo Uploaded from ROBsessed

ATwilightKiss Chats — A Bare Chested Robert Pattinson

Lorna Lopez — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 08:01:53 +0000

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

Oh, babe, look! It’s one of the wolf pack! Alex Meraz! Hey, he’s got a black hoodie like you do! Wow! He looks great in that hoodie! Uh-hmm… Look at the way it drapes over those broad shoulders, and how it frames his chest and abs. Mmm-mm… Those abs look really hard. Oh, oh, oh!

Rob, babe, you didn’t have to remove your shirt! But, since it’s off, can I check your abs?

ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson in a Leather Jacket

Lorna Lopez — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:42:10 +0000

Photo Courtesy of RadarOnline.com
Photo: GSI Media

A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart

OMG, who is that?!? He is just so darn cute! What?!? NO WAY! No way! Really? You’re kidding! You have just got to be kidding me! No way is that Jackson Rathbone! You mean this Jackson Rathbone? The guy on the far right?

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

What happened? I mean, I would never have recognized him if you hadn’t told me. I can’t get over it. Hey, but, I’m not complaining!

Uhm-uhm… Take a look at that fantastic smile! And those dimples! Ooohh, I think he has two! Ooohh, two dimples! A smile with two dimples… Ooohh, he’s so cute! Yummy Jackson! And that cool leather jacket… A good boy going bad? You can go bad with me any time, Jackson! Oh, oh, oh!

Rob, baby, it’s your bad boy leather jacket! Oh, you’re putting it on for me? That is SO SWEET! Come here, baby, I need some punishment because I’ve been bad. Very bad…

Photo Courtesy of Dossier Magazine
Photo: Theo Wenner