ATwilightKiss Diaries — Rob Turn Off the Manly Charm Will You
A Fictitious Diary Entry of ATwilightKiss Readers Chronicling Their Thirst for Robert Pattinson In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart
Dear Rob,
I was prepared to slug it out with FEMALE teeners, cougars, the in-betweens, the seniors, and the GAY guys, but, this…
Can’t you stopper the charm bottle, seal the charisma box or whatever that makes you so attractive when you’re around STRAIGHT MEN? I swear, adding them to this already very crowded picture is ticking me off.
You’ve got Ryan Reynolds, who’s married to the uber sexy and gorgeous Scarlett Johansson describing you to MTV as, “Robert Pattinson in a word: dreamy.” And he hasn’t even met you yet!
Then there’s your co-actor from Little Ashes. Not Beltrán. The English one. Yeah, that McNulty commented that you are “really intelligent and a charming chap as well.” Yeah, yeah, I know he’s married. But, dreamy and charming? What did you do to these guys?
And, how come Hugh Jackman and Baz Luhrman invited you to a karaoke party that’s sorta exclusive for their film mates in Australia? Aren’t you from another film called Twilight? Oh, you guys chatted on the flight from LA to Tokyo? That’s exactly what I mean. You just talked and next thing you know, you’re hooking up over a microphone.
Aarggh! *pulls hair* And, how about your Twilight co-star Kellan noticing that you have a “pouty look” and a “crazy hairdo [that] gets the girls swooning?”
And, now, this Alex Meraz guy, who plays Paul in New Moon, said you “smell like roses” and that you’re “comfortable in [your] sexuality!”
I know I sound a little bit crazy here, but, when STRAIGHT guys compliment another straight guy in that way, it’s sorta creepy. Are there bromances brewing here that I need to know about? I mean, your childhood friends, Marcus, Sam, and then there’s Tom, Bobby are a given, of course. Did I for –
What are you doing?!? You are not going to get me with that pouty look! That is using undue physical advantage! No fair!
You think you’ve got the pouty look department cornered, buddy? Well, let me show you pouty! *pouts exaggeratedly*
“What are you doing? Don’t come near me! Don’t grab me! Don’t kiss—” *swoons and goes limp*
*trails a finger down his cheek* Uhm, you were kidding when you told GQ, “I f—-d Joe Jonas,” right? Okay, you can kiss me again to shut me up…”
To bromances,
ATwilightKiss Readers
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
Rob Is Straight Yes, I know Rob is straight, but, still, I find it amusing that even other guys are not immune to his charms, so to speak, whether they’ve met him or not.
All the quotations are real. These guys have said these things about Robert Pattinson. Just click on the links if you want to read the whole article.
The word bromance refers to the relationship between two straight males.
Once again, all the posts in this category are dedicated to the ATwilightKiss readers, so enjoy yourself. Imagine you’re the one saying all these things… And the recipient of all those kisses… Yummy…
Inspired by Letters to Rob The concept of letter writing to Rob is inspired by the wonderful site of Unintended Choice and The Moon Is Down — Letters to Rob (you can find the link on the sidebar). Whenever applicable, every post in this category will be sent for their consideration to be published on their site, since they are open to submissions. I encourage you to pen your own letter.
Related Posts
ATwilightKiss Diaries — Rob Rod on Display
ATwilightKiss Diaries – Rob Are You A Sick Masochistic Lion
A Wish and A Prayer for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Stark Naked and Vulnerable
The Robert Pattinson Diaries — Biting and Sucking the Finger of Kristen Stewart
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:21 am
how i agree with you Lorna… if straight men compliment Rob like that, what can we, especially me, do to avoid his charm..
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:58 am
It doesn’t turn off ..
– Edward to Emmet (Midnight Sun)
Edward was talking about mind-reading of course .. but being gorgeous is also natural to Rob just as reading minds is natural to Edward so I guess, we just have to bear his dreaminess and charm as best we could
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
toebildonk, we sputter then swoon as a defense mechanism…
rain88ph, that is so cute!!! I inadvertently used a line from Midnight Sun! Love it!!!
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Yes, Lorna .. it’s creepy how deeply we have imbibed the Twilight Saga!! Quoting without meaning to comes naturally ..
Another quote comes to mind now:
“As if you can outrun me … as if you can fight me off .. ”
- Edward Cullen, Twilight The Movie
Haha!! Oh boy .. don’t get me started .. LOL
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Haha.. But it’s true alright, if robert starst turning guy gay that’s just unfair.. But I guess he can’t help being the hottest guy on the planet
Still waitin for moooore of Robert Pattinson Diaries. Like I said once: you are really good at this!
April 4th, 2009 at 5:53 am
So true. I think he even dazzled Ryan Seacrest! Robert is so gorgeous, gosh I can’t imagine any other person portraying Edward Cullen. I remember that when he was first cast in the role that there was a lot of Rob hating going on among Twilight fans mostly because he was not really known at that time. I’m pretty sure that’s been mostly dispelled by now, thanks to Robert’s charming personality and great acting. The man is a talented musician too, what’s not to love about him? Sigh.
April 19th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
haha, this is funny – i like the ending – ‘you can kiss me again to shut me up’. yeahh, rob is making straight guys go gay. this is not good, what about our women right’s ?, hehe. oohh, how i love his pout look – that look says ‘i’m not trying to hard to be sexy but i am’. that’s just make me go jell-o.
April 19th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
well i really dont care how cheesy his sexy smile is its still cute and hes trying hard to impress the girls so good on you Rob woo hes sexy ohh love you Rob cya soon x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
April 20th, 2009 at 12:38 am
OMG !
I LOVE them
I love this post Lorna .. I was laughing the whole time .. Because it’s all sooo ture ..LOL
Keep writing letters