ATwilightKiss Chats — Staking for Robert Pattinson
A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart
What am I doing? Uh- Nothing.
What am I holding behind my back? Uh- Nothing.
Okay, if you must know, I was going to drive a stake through Stephen Moyer, you know, that guy playing the vampire in that HBO series True Blood.
Why? Because he insulted you! Well, okay, not you, but Edward Cullen. But, since you play Edward, he sorta insulted you.
Of course, I wasn’t going to drive a stake through Stephen Moyer the person! I’m not crazy! I don’t wanna end up in jail for something so stupid!
Well, he plays a vampire, right? And vampires sorta die from the stake through the heart, right? So I was going to kill his mean words by symbolically driving a stake through his heart! I mean a picture of him! *shakes Stephen Moyer picture and ballpen cum stake*
Photo Courtesy of Just Jared
Photo: WENN
What is that? Are your lips twitching? Are you, by any chance, laughing at me? You are laughing! You are such a meanie!
I am not crying! I was stringing some onions earlier to completely ward off vampires and…
Okay, so I am crying! So what?!?
I was doing it for you, you know! Oh, now you’re hugging me. Yeah, yeah, I’m sweet.
What do you mean he’s right? Just because Edward is not the traditional vampire doesn’t make him a you know what! He just focuses on the more important things like love.
Would I rather be making out or staking out? Can’t I have both? No?
Well, I don’t really know. Why don’t you convince me? 
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
The Stephen Moyer Interview with Marie Claire In a clever publicity move, the resident vampire of the HBO series True Blood, Stephen Moyer, threw a gauntlet in the direction of Twilight’s vampire hottie Robert Pattinson, which is sorta going to be ineffectual because Rob will probably agree with him or say something polite or remain quiet.
Dedicated to ATwilightKiss Readers Once again, all the imaginary conversations with Robert Pattinson in this category are dedicated to the ATwilightKiss readers, so enjoy yourself. Imagine you’re the one saying all these things…
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June 28th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Is it the “P–sy” and “[Diet Coke] Slimfast of vampires” comment? Yeah that really irritated me when I read that. I can’t believe he said that, sounds like an a** to me. I like the Sookie books, read all of them…not a fan of Stephen esp now that he said those nasty things about Rob. Bite me!
June 28th, 2009 at 9:26 am
lol u spelt Stephenie Meyer’s name wrong!
June 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Who does this Stephen Moyer think he is ?
He’s soo gonna pay .. I hope bad Karma gets him .. though I don’t want him to die ..that would be very merciful ..Oh Rob ..Never mind he’s just Jealous ..Like TOTALLY JEALOUS
June 29th, 2009 at 11:28 am
maybe stephen said this because he’s insecure that he’s not hot and the world is not going gaga over. is it insecurity?
July 10th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Robs a big boy I don’t think he cares what Stephan thinks. So Stephan if you need to vent….. Put down whatever… It doesn’t matter because there is only one Rob Pattinson and he’s a gentleman. You on the other hand sound like a fool…
July 27th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
i personally [don't like] Robert Pattinson …