ATwilightKiss Chats — Robert Pattinson and the Maid
Robert Pattinson in Bel Ami Fan Made Wallpaper is Courtesy of Thinking of Rob
A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart
Hey, babe! I hurried home as fast as I could. Oh, you’re already dressed in your Halloween costume! You’re just so cute in those period clothes! You look like one of those gents in Sense and Sensibility! Is that how you’ll look like in Bel Ami? Is it going to be done in period?
Where’s my Halloween costume? I’m so excited! Is it like one of the costumes Kate Winslet wore in Sense and Sensibility? A secret?!? C’mon, tell me! It’s in the bedroom? Okay, I’ll be right out…
*after 10 minutes a voice is heard through the barely open door* Rob, baby, I think they made a mistake. I think they gave you the wrong size. This Halloween costume’s way too small. Come out? Uhm… I don’t think so. It’s really embarrassing. Oh fine!
See? Babe, it’s just too small. First and foremost, it’s too low in front. You can see the girls almost down to the, you know… And, I’m hardly breathing now because one or even both may pop out.
I don’t think this is the costume for the lady of the house. It’s clearly for the maid! A very small maid, may I add! And, look at this, Rob! There’s even a feather duster! You have to call and ask them to exchange it with the one you really ordered! What do you mean it’s the correct one?!? Of course not! It can’t be!
Are you crazy?!? Pick up the newspaper on the floor?!? Pick it up yourself! Can’t you see the skirt part’s way too short?!? If I pick up the newspaper, you’ll be able to see all of me! You don’t believe me?
*walks over and picks up the fallen newspaper* See?!? I told you you can see everything! Stay like this?!? What do you mean that’s the idea?!? This is a very uncomfortable position, you know, not to mention quite ridiculous! Oh! What’s that?!?
Rob… Babe, stop teasing me with the feather duster! Please! Yes, I’ll follow all your commands. Within reason! Just stop it already! Promise to follow everything without question? Who do you think you are? I am not your maid! Oooohh… Ooookay, I’ll be the maid to your master of the house… 
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
Role Playing I hope it’s clear to everyone that this is FANTASY ROLE PLAYING, and, should not, in any way, be mistaken as acceptable behavior in a real situation, except between two consenting adults.
Dedicated to ATwilightKiss Readers Once again, all the imaginary conversations with Robert Pattinson in this category are dedicated to the ATwilightKiss readers, so enjoy yourself. Imagine you’re the one saying all these things…
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October 21st, 2009 at 5:20 pm
these our funny & hot but u should add robs lines into them as well p.s dying for a rob or kris diary …luv them
October 21st, 2009 at 8:39 pm
what does “Bel Ami” mean literally? this has been bothering me for a while now…
October 21st, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Awesome! I loved it!!!!!
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 am
It’s French for good friend.
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 am
I love it!! The “Pick it up yourself!” made me LMAOL. Awesome Lorna thank you.
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:20 am
1. Bel Ami actually translates into “beautiful friend”, but it’s also an old fashioned term for “lover”, somewhat on the secret (cheating on your husband) side. I found somewhere that it could also describe a “lady killer” lol.. no need to comment on that one
2. Yes, Lorna, you should definitely put some lines into Rob’s mouth..
3. The hands of the man in that wallpaper are kinda creepy. Rob’s are much prettier
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:21 pm
And all the girls named Ami, “please stand up…please stand up…” LOL.
Oh mann, this is noooo…teee… ;D
And that’s one heckova banner. It’s really real.
Keep it up up, Lorna.
I’m looking forward for more diaries, too.
(like everybody else, I think)
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Hot and bothered, Lorna, hot and bothered…
Need I say any more?
Love you guys!!!
Oh, and awesome banner/pic!!!!!!
February 14th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Hey Lorna. Are you sure it’s not Kristen who’s speaking to Rob. ‘Cause, in one of the Robert Pattinson diaries, (the one that says, Missing Kristen Stewart While Filming Remember Me) Rob was saying that Kristen can get angry quite easily. And what you wrote there sounded like a girl who’s a bit annoyed with Rob.
By the way, I really want to read another one of those diaries. Maybe a Kristen Stewart diary. There are so many diaries of Rob. But, I love them! Thanx!
February 26th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
you know, today i asked my french teacher-Madame Deep-what Bel Ami means and she said it means good friend. so i guess the title in english is “Good Friend”.