ATwilightKiss Chats — Keep Your Hands Off Robert Pattinson Mr. Bodyguard
A Fictitious Sexy Chat between Robert Pattinson and ATwilightKiss Readers In An Alternate Universe Where He’s Not In Love with Kristen Stewart
Robert, were you drunk? No. Okay, were you tipsy in any way? No. Were you feeling faint? No. Were you feeling woozy? No. Were you feeling sick? No. Were you weak with hunger? No. Then what the hell was your bodyguard’s hand doing around your waist then?!?
And, he can’t seem to keep his hands off you, baby! Does he have to have it there all the time? Are you some child he needs to show what to do and where to go? He can easily do that without touching you! Okay, sure, one push then hands off! (go to 0:21)
Video Courtesy of starexinpress
Yeah, yeah, I know you have some overzealous fans and paps that you need protection from… But, let me ask you this… I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the Queen and the Prime Minister are in greater danger than you are. Do you see their bodyguards holding on to their waists?
No. Because this guy is overdoing it. He should just be near enough to grab you IF needed, but, otherwise, he should be hands off! If I didn’t know any better, I think he’s got the hots for you!
What?!? Do I want you to be my bodyguard? You’ve got the hots for me? Now you’re mocking me! I’m being completely serious here!
Are you smiling? How can you smile at a time like this? I’m warning you about some touchy may I put my hands on you all the time bodyguard and…
*gasps then sighs* Okay, if you’re going to be that kind of bodyguard who wants to touch me all over, then yes, by all means, guard my body…
Lorna Lopez aka ATwilightKiss Notes
Dedicated to ATwilightKiss Readers Once again, all the imaginary conversations with Robert Pattinson in this category are dedicated to the ATwilightKiss readers, so enjoy yourself. Imagine you’re the one saying all these things…
Robert Pattinson Is Very Well Thank You Just to illustrate that Robert Pattinson is perfectly fine and in good health when he went out during that night at Cannes where his bodyguard was just too close for comfort, please visit ROBsessed for more pics.
Thanks to Gozde’s observation, “That bodyguard sure likes to touch Rob,” it
made me look more closely.
A Request for Professional Behavior To the gentleman acting as the bodyguard of Robert Pattinson during the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, we would like to say thank you for doing your job with great enthusiasm. However, let me warn you as well that, in my opinion, you are bordering on inappropriate physical contact.
Sir, we would appreciate it if you would maintain a more professional demeanor by keeping a certain level of distance between your client and yourself, as demonstrated by your other colleagues. Thank you very much.
Photo Courtesy of Lainey Gossip
Photo: PUNKD Images
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May 21st, 2009 at 12:06 am
wooo i would be Rob’s bodyguard
x
May 21st, 2009 at 12:16 am
Yeah .. Now I’m jealous of the bodyguard … if I say this to me friends .. they’ll sure say I’ve gone NUTS ! but it’s okay to say it here ..Right ..no one will tell ?
May 21st, 2009 at 12:17 am
So .Yes Please MR. Bodyguard .. keep your hands of off Rob !
May 21st, 2009 at 1:30 am
I hate to say it guys but this give me the creeps. Here they toss him about like a rag doll. He has to go to parties and poop like that he is there to put a light up that Summit is a legit. production studio. He works for weeks on the New Moon he is swept up to go to the Cannes (which I don’t why because there is nothing for him to promo but a couple of films…one NM not done and the other Remember still a twinkle in a producer’s eye. He is sent there as eye candy for Summit….
THEN he is expected to come from the South of France where he has to go through the mill until at least Thursday and then sweep off to Italy by Saturday for a Monday shoot and then four days then zip back to LA for that May 31st MTV thing.
That is a hell of a lot of travel and the want the man to party too!!! Anyone would be carried about after even the thought of this…There is an enormous stress on the body and mind doing this kind of travel and he is being treated like a puppet. Fans should be pis—d at this…if they really like him.
May 21st, 2009 at 1:32 am
…oh and did I mention I heard after the MTV he has only a couple days before he has to run to New York and shoot Remember. Cripes.
May 21st, 2009 at 1:49 am
so funny. I thought the same thing when I looked the pictures? why is he touching/grabing rob so much? :O God, even men are dazzled by him! lol
May 21st, 2009 at 2:51 am
Rob is a charmer,with female and male ”victims”.Although i have to agree with CF,he is being treated like a puppet.This life may have glamour,success,money but you have to pay the price.Hope he’ll maintain his low profile and his lovely personality
May 21st, 2009 at 4:38 am
I agree w/ CF that Rob is being treated like a puppet
. I hate seeing him looking tired, I know he’s only human and I think he works too much.
Anyway, yeah that bodyguard is too touchy-feely? I’m jealous now. I’ll be your body guard Rob, I’ll guard your precious body if that entails me putting my arm around you all day.
May 21st, 2009 at 5:20 am
Yeah I know. One fan suggested that maybe he is a newbie at this type of a job or this is his first celebrity-bodyguard job.
But he is really just putting his arms around Robert so much. I wonder if they got some sort of a threat or maybe Robert got some nasty experience. I don’t know, but it seemed very odd! I am sure Robert did not put him up to it. But, Robert is a new celebrity, so he does not know yet how he can tell that bodyguard hands Off buddy.
May 21st, 2009 at 5:26 am
If Robert’s PR people are as savvy as Brad & Angelina’s that bodyguard will be gone soon.
I remember Angelina has this ruggedly good looking bodyguard whom Angelina was accused of being so close to. After hundreds of comments from the fans, that bodyguard was gone!!!
This bodyguard is bad for Robert Pattinson’s image. So if any of Robert Pattinson PR people are reading his fan’s blogs, here’s to you—GET THAT GUY OFF ROBERT’S PRESENCE!!! or GET HIM SOME PROPER TRAINING!!!
May 21st, 2009 at 12:16 pm
mr bodyguard,you’re OVERPROTECTIVE!!
May 21st, 2009 at 9:16 pm
this is nuts. Even if these kinds of events attract crazies I don’t get the dragging him about like this…its harsh.
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 am
Hey guys ..Have you noticed the necklace ROB is wearing lately .. do you think it’s some kind of charm ? I’m curious ..What are your theories?
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Hi Liela. The golden shark tooth necklace was bought by Rob for himself. Details here:
The Kristen Stewart Diaries — Pining for Robert Pattinson